Ministry of Crab, Sri Lanka: A Gloriously Buttery Mess
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Ministry of Crab, Sri Lanka: A Gloriously Buttery Mess
Ministry of Crab, 3 starters, 5 mains, 7 side dishes 2 bottles sparkling wine, 2 bottles white wine, 1 local beer: $624. Ministry of Crab, Old Dutch Hospital Complex, 04 Hospital St, Colombo 00100, Sri Lanka. Ministry of Crab website. Crabs and prawns: $6-$228, small plates: $11-$14, chicken & fish: $9-14, sides: $2-16.
Written by Liam Collens // See other reviews here.
Ministry of Crab is a shrine to seafood, and for all who love it. A place where the food is serious, but the vibe is mercifully casual.
The Highs
The Lows
The Highs
The Lows
Ministry of Crab, Colombo, Sri Lanka: A Gloriously Buttery Mess
It was an absolute mess. From start to finish. Elbow deep in lascivious chilli garlic butter, I regrettably rinse the sumptuous remains from my hands, forearms and beard. You cannot truly enjoy a meal unless you walk away wearing half of it. Call it experiential dining. The dining room washbasin should have told me all I need to know.
Ministry of Crab’s unsupposing exterior closets a Colombo institution. A multi-award-winning restaurant in Old Dutch Hospital Complex’s tightly woven labyrinth. A historical sight groaning with other notable culinary institutions. Burger King, Pizza Hut, a smattering of boozers. Ministry of Crab currently boasts a #35 spot on Asia’s 50 Best Restaurants list; an index typically populated by fine dining establishments. The type that requires a blazer and a lick of shoe polish. But, not Ministry of Crab.
Ministry of Crab is located within the Old Dutch Hospital Complex in Colombo, Sri Lanka. It takes a bit of scouting to find.
Ministry of Crab’s unsupposing exterior closets a Colombo institution. A multi-award-winning restaurant in Old Dutch Hospital Complex’s tightly woven labyrinth. A historical sight groaning with other notable culinary institutions. Burger King, Pizza Hut, a smattering of boozers. Ministry of Crab currently boasts a #35 spot on Asia’s 50 Best Restaurants list; an index typically populated by fine dining establishments. The type that requires a blazer and a lick of shoe polish. But, not Ministry of Crab.
Ministry of Crab is located within the Old Dutch Hospital Complex in Colombo, Sri Lanka. It takes a bit of scouting to find.
Ministry of Crab is a casual class act
It would be horrifically gaudy in the wrong hands. Some feral Sri Lankan Red Lobster; Beyoncé would never take you. Mock fishnets strewn across the ceiling adorned with a constellation of plastic starfish. Grab a polaroid with live crabs before they’re sacrificed next to a guy dressed as one.
Silly me swans up to Ministry of Crab in (pink) shorts and a white linen shirt — a schoolboy error. A shockingly preppy look; my unfurled black bib demands that I Keep Calm and Crab On.
Yes, Ministry of Crab requires bibs, not blazers. There’s a relaxed, communal, near canteen-like feel. Black and gold signage, mud-dark and glossy tiled floors support warm wooden tables that stretch to accentuate the space. Two seaters, four-seaters and tables for larger groups, like us. Cream walls are amplified by the brightness of brassy thin metal chandeliers. Tables featuring tropical flower arrangements in oversized vases confirm a sense of occasion. Orange accents pop throughout. Even our robe-shaped napkins burn bright lying on eponymously engraved plates – in case you forget where you are. (Or pinch one).
Ministry of Crab shuns formality with bright orange napkins shaped like robes and dark banquet-style tables.
Silly me swans up to Ministry of Crab in (pink) shorts and a white linen shirt — a schoolboy error. A shockingly preppy look; my unfurled black bib demands that I Keep Calm and Crab On.
Yes, Ministry of Crab requires bibs, not blazers. There’s a relaxed, communal, near canteen-like feel. Black and gold signage, mud-dark and glossy tiled floors support warm wooden tables that stretch to accentuate the space. Two seaters, four-seaters and tables for larger groups, like us. Cream walls are amplified by the brightness of brassy thin metal chandeliers. Tables featuring tropical flower arrangements in oversized vases confirm a sense of occasion. Orange accents pop throughout. Even our robe-shaped napkins burn bright lying on eponymously engraved plates – in case you forget where you are. (Or pinch one).
Ministry of Crab shuns formality with bright orange napkins shaped like robes and dark banquet-style tables.
It’s a charred, fragrant reminder that life’s too short not to enjoy good carbs
Ministry of Crab’s menu and food
Ministry of Crab’s food is unquestionably good. So good, it’s “worth a detour” as we drop in en route to Colombo airport after a sublime few days in the southern coastal town of Tangalle. A beautiful villa stay overlooking the Indian Ocean, but that’s a story for another day.
Crab features prominently, as expected. Sold by weight and with a plethora of lardaceous butter sauces seasoned with soy, curry, garlic and other life’s best things (from $40 – $228). Prawns adopt the same model from hardly thumb-sized to something that spent its days lounging downstream of a nuclear plant ($14 – $40). A charcoal roasted seer fish in teriyaki does its best to lure us away from crustaceans ($14). The prawn curry goads you on by claiming to be one of the best in Sri Lanka paired with a char-kissed, woodfired kade bread ($30). Try as they might, we all know why we are really here.
A duo of Prawnzillas arrive. Graduates of Jurassic Park with heads the size of toddler’s forearm wallowing in soy-flavoured, melted golden butter ($40). Delicious on its own but, when paired with slabs of that garlic bread – so pillowy soft and tearable; it’s a charred, fragrant reminder that life’s too short not to enjoy good carbs.
Ministry of Crab prawnzilla in soy butter, perfect for the garlic bread, Italian Ferrari Brut sparkling and the Captains table.
Mrs EatGoSee starts with a chilled crab avocado salad. A generous portion lightly spiced with a subtle wasabi mayo ($11). A flight of warm water oysters are chilled for six hours and then served. Sprightly oyster shots zipping with hot sauce, fresh lime juice and aged soy ($11). Courtney Brandt delves into a rich prawn bisque thicc with two c’s, laced with spices and boasting flavour depths achieved by using the shells and all those lip-smacking bits inside a prawn’s head ($16). Brisk sparkling Ferrari Brut delight as we sit silent, eyes broadened, as the main event approaches ($67 a bottle).
Ministry of Crab generous crab avocado salad, a spiced prawn bisque, flight of oyster sixers and soy butter clams.
We’ve reached the reason why I was smothered in butter like a Christmas turkey. Our monstrous two-kilo Crabzilla arrives glistening and steeped in a puddle of chilli garlic butter and the crab’s unctuously-rich brown meat ($228). A rich, rewarding sauce that slaps you around the chops. To look at it, you would expect this beast to live in a child’s nightmares. Some part of the Indian Ocean is now its neighbourhood bully. A bright, pumpkin-coloured crab with spider-like legs and fat claws brimming with deliciously sweet crab meat. But you must work for it. Ministry of Crab’s namesake is not for those too precious to press their elbows into the table and forage for the good stuff. The prized crab meat releases from the shells easily lubricated by butter at levels a cardiologist will one day scold me about. You expect the crab to be great, and it is. Pearly sweet, soft and works with the chilli garlic butter instead of being consumed by it. It’s a skill to wield spice to your will.
Ministry of Crab’s crabzilla is the sort of beastly thing that will haunt your nightmares, but utterly delicious.
Absolutely. There is a casual accessibility to Ministry of Crab which immediately appeals to me. Ministry of Crab is an oasis of calm that once again reminds the world that – despite what they read about Sri Lanka now and then – there is joy here. Joy and the open arms of people who want nothing more than to share the bounty of what Sri Lanka has to offer. Blanched then doused in Olympic-sized pools of saturated fat. I cannot wait to return to Sri Lanka again to also enjoy some of the best crab to ever pass these lips. Plus the oysters. And the garlic bread.
50 Best Restaurant checklisters, seafood lovers, casual diners, large groups looking for a good time. Anyone in Colombo looking for a casual lunch or fun dinner.
Crab features prominently, as expected. Sold by weight and with a plethora of lardaceous butter sauces seasoned with soy, curry, garlic and other life’s best things (from $40 – $228). Prawns adopt the same model from hardly thumb-sized to something that spent its days lounging downstream of a nuclear plant ($14 – $40). A charcoal roasted seer fish in teriyaki does its best to lure us away from crustaceans ($14). The prawn curry goads you on by claiming to be one of the best in Sri Lanka paired with a char-kissed, woodfired kade bread ($30). Try as they might, we all know why we are really here.
A duo of Prawnzillas arrive. Graduates of Jurassic Park with heads the size of toddler’s forearm wallowing in soy-flavoured, melted golden butter ($40). Delicious on its own but, when paired with slabs of that garlic bread – so pillowy soft and tearable; it’s a charred, fragrant reminder that life’s too short not to enjoy good carbs.
Ministry of Crab prawnzilla in soy butter, perfect for the garlic bread, Italian Ferrari Brut sparkling and the Captains table.
Mrs EatGoSee starts with a chilled crab avocado salad. A generous portion lightly spiced with a subtle wasabi mayo ($11). A flight of warm water oysters are chilled for six hours and then served. Sprightly oyster shots zipping with hot sauce, fresh lime juice and aged soy ($11). Courtney Brandt delves into a rich prawn bisque thicc with two c’s, laced with spices and boasting flavour depths achieved by using the shells and all those lip-smacking bits inside a prawn’s head ($16). Brisk sparkling Ferrari Brut delight as we sit silent, eyes broadened, as the main event approaches ($67 a bottle).
Ministry of Crab generous crab avocado salad, a spiced prawn bisque, flight of oyster sixers and soy butter clams.
We’ve reached the reason why I was smothered in butter like a Christmas turkey. Our monstrous two-kilo Crabzilla arrives glistening and steeped in a puddle of chilli garlic butter and the crab’s unctuously-rich brown meat ($228). A rich, rewarding sauce that slaps you around the chops. To look at it, you would expect this beast to live in a child’s nightmares. Some part of the Indian Ocean is now its neighbourhood bully. A bright, pumpkin-coloured crab with spider-like legs and fat claws brimming with deliciously sweet crab meat. But you must work for it. Ministry of Crab’s namesake is not for those too precious to press their elbows into the table and forage for the good stuff. The prized crab meat releases from the shells easily lubricated by butter at levels a cardiologist will one day scold me about. You expect the crab to be great, and it is. Pearly sweet, soft and works with the chilli garlic butter instead of being consumed by it. It’s a skill to wield spice to your will.
Ministry of Crab’s crabzilla is the sort of beastly thing that will haunt your nightmares, but utterly delicious.
Ministry of Crab, Would I Return?
Absolutely. There is a casual accessibility to Ministry of Crab which immediately appeals to me. Ministry of Crab is an oasis of calm that once again reminds the world that – despite what they read about Sri Lanka now and then – there is joy here. Joy and the open arms of people who want nothing more than to share the bounty of what Sri Lanka has to offer. Blanched then doused in Olympic-sized pools of saturated fat. I cannot wait to return to Sri Lanka again to also enjoy some of the best crab to ever pass these lips. Plus the oysters. And the garlic bread.
Ministry of Crab, Who Should Go?
50 Best Restaurant checklisters, seafood lovers, casual diners, large groups looking for a good time. Anyone in Colombo looking for a casual lunch or fun dinner.
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